Nonmarital Sex

Happily Never After

Non-marital Sex or Recreational Sex as it is called, is wrong, for the relationship is purely physical, with no commitment to or responsibility for the other person. It is the use of another’s body for self-satisfaction. The sin here is not in the body, but in the will.

Lust is the misuse of a good body by a bad will. Note that the same sin may appear in a formalized marriage. Eg. A husband dominating his wife for his own sexual satisfaction – a form of rape.

Extramarital Sex

Extra-Marital Sex, an affair with someone other than one’s spouse, violates the covenant bond of loyalty and fidelity. It brings with it the dark suspicions and tensions that lead to a troubled or broken marriage. Here again, the sin in adultery is to be located in the will, in infidelity, in breaking faith, not in the body.

When it comes to the question of premarital sexual relations, the morality of the matter becomes more ambiguous. Currently, the context is often one in which the couple at the upper layers of their education have long since reached their physical sexual maturity (girls now menstruate at the average age of twelve or thirteen), but economic or educational circumstances prevent the sensible possibility of their formal marriage until their educations are completed and they can be employed and make a home.

In short, they are old enough to have sex but too young to get married. Yet they may be committed to each other, whether or not they are formally engaged. No legalism either proscribing or prescribing premarital relations will suffice here.

The Morality Of The Matter

The morality of the matter depends on the circumstances, on the couple’s open, honest mutual understanding of the relationship between sex and love, and their acknowledgment of the risks involved, especially the need for sensible precautions against pregnancy.


So please, let us say no to non-marital sex. Let marriage be happily ever after rather than happily never after.

Also read Premarital Sex Is A Sin and Sex, God And Marriage

4 thoughts on “Nonmarital Sex”

  1. Hi, what if a husband committed adultery and the girl is pregnant, how is he going to do to settle all this and return to church?

  2. Thanks for this.

    In regards to the above I can hold up but not when one (wife) sexualy arouses me, then she refuse do make it…for even two weeks.

  3. Want to ask something. What if, even after marriage, we love someone but we are not involved in physical relationship? We respect each other and our love and nor we meet but feelings are only attached to that person, not your spouse. Is it fair love and true love infront of the lord?

  4. Hi Neha,

    How can you say you fully love your husband when your feelings are only attached to someone else? How can it be considered as a fair love, even though you don’t meet or have physical relation with the other guy?

    Marriage is a covenant, commitment, sacrament uniting 2 and ONLY TWO souls by the love of God. There is no place for that third person in your blessed family life. This will be a stumbling block for all the God’s blessings which you should rightly receive in your married life.

    God bless you,

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