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November 2nd, 2008

Jokes : How many Baptists are here?

How many Baptists are here

Several churches in the South decided to hold union services. The leader was a Baptist and proud of his denomination.
“How many Baptists are here?” he asked on the first night of the revival?
All except one little old lady raised their hands.

“Lady, what are you?” asked the leader.
“I’m a Methodist,” meekly replied the lady.

“Why are you a Methodist?” queried the leader?
“Well,” replied the little old lady, “my grandparents were Methodists, my mother was a Methodist, and my late husband was a Methodist.”

“Well,” retorted the leader, “just supposing all your relatives had been morons, what would that have made you?”
“Oh, I see. A Baptist, I suppose,” the lady replied meekly.

November 2nd, 2008

Jokes : Preacher skipping services on a Sunday

Preacher skipping services on a Sunday

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.

With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, “O Lord, I’m so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish-make a Christian out of that bear that’s coming at me!”

At that very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to his knees, clasped his paws together, and began to pray aloud at the preacher’s feet: “Dear God, please bless this food I am about to receive.”

November 2nd, 2008

Jokes : Whose dad is cleverer

Sermon wits

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calles it a poem, and they give him $25.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $200.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight men to collect all the money!”

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