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September 27th, 2008

Jokes : Children of Israel

The Children of Israel Cross Red Sea

“Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”
“What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”
“Right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?”
“Er–right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”
“Again you’re right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’ important, right?”
“All that is right, too,” agreed Goldblatt. “So what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin?”

September 27th, 2008

Jokes : The Parrot that recites the entire Bible

The Parrot that recites the entire Bible

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.”

The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

“Milton,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.

“Gerald,” she said, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”

“But Donald,” she said, “the little chicken you sent was delicious!”

September 27th, 2008

Jokes : Is The Book Worth Anything?

The Gutenberg Bible

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at auction for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man. “It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther.”

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