Oh God, Help My Unbelief

Oh God Help My Unbelief

I feel God is trying to fulfill some of His promises through me in my missionary life in North-East. When I came away from Kerala as a very young sister my dream about mission was – climb the hills and mountains, cross the rivers and valleys in the name of Jesus and preach His name and heal the sick and bandage the wounded.

Today when I look back I feel Jesus took me in His hand as His humble instrument to fulfill my dream. I worked as a nurse in different parishes and there I felt God used me to fulfill this promise. “And these signs will accompany those who believe, by using my name they will cast out demons, they will speak in new languages they will pick up snakes in their hands and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them, they will lay their hands on the sick and they will recover” (Mk.16:17-18).

Seeking help from God’s girls

On the Feast day of Holy Rosary, on 7th October we the sisters were praying in the morning. Two Hindi men came to the convent and called ‘Gods girls’ (they did not know to call sisters because they were Hindus). ‘Gods girls’ (in their language) and the Superior of the house came out and enquired. They told us ‘you God’s girls please come with us. In our village one lady is about to die after her delivery, for two weeks, she is suffering and the baby is alive. Please come and save. Mother’s condition is very critical. After delivery, for two weeks placenta remains in the womb and the lady was suffering from all kinds of sickness. She is unconscious. Please come, please come’. After hearing all these stories and knowing that the village is 5 hours of walking distance, I was in dilemma.

Only because of their faith in us I decided to go with them having put my trust in God. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic ‘Son, your sins are forgiven’ (Mk.2/5). Another Word of God that strike me was that “If you believe you will see the glory of God’ (Jn.11:40). Therefore I went with them walking through the jungle, climbing the hills and mountains, crossing the rivers and valley. While I was walking it reminded me of the journey of Joseph and Mary to Egypt.

After 5 hours of walk we reached in the village. Though body was weak, mind and heart was open to God. “The prayer of the poor goes from their lips to the ear of God” (Sir.21/5). Big crowds were gathered in and around that house. As I reached there all the eyes fell on me hoping something. Like St. Peter I did not have faith and courage to say “I have neither silver nor gold but what I have I give you, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth stand up and walk” (Act.3/6). Yes, all things are possible for the one who believes. Immediately like the father of that child I too cried out in mind “I do believe help my unbelief” (Mk.9/23-24).

Then in one hand holding Rosary and with the other hand I examined the lady who was unconscious and started the medication. While treatment was going on, sitting with them I prayed like the Prophet Elijah 1Kgs.18/36-37 “O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel let it be known this day that you are God in this place, that I am your servant, and that I have done all these things at your bidding. Answer me O Lord; answer me, so that this people may know that you are Lord”.

The Miracle happens

While I was praying the Rosary I felt Mother Mary telling me that nothing will be impossible with God. After two hours of medication the lady started to move her hand and feet and opened the eye. Next day morning the sick lady improved much and we went back to our house and proclaimed how much Jesus has done for us and every one was amazed and many believed in the name and power of Jesus.

In my missionary life I have always experienced God’s hand working in me. So as I write this touching God experience, with this feeling I say that “they went out and proclaimed the good news every where, while the Lord worked with them and confirmed the message by the signs that accompanied it” (Mk.16/20).

God has been illumining my path with His life-giving Word. I am grateful to God for the ways that He made use of me to act as His instrument and I am proud of my missionary call especially to this North Eastern part of India.

Oh God, Help My Unbelief!

– – – written by Sr.Agie CMC, Dimapur

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