Here are 10 rules to make your christian marriage stronger and smoother.
End the Day With a Clean Slate
The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Make it a goal to clear the air with your spouse on a daily basis. Fortunately, most days there will not be a need to clean the slate. For those days where tensions are high make an agreement with one another that you will work out your differences before going to bed.
The Bible says that it is a manâ€™s responsibility to love (Ephesians 5:25) and it is a womanâ€™s responsibility to submit (Ephesians 5:22). If the husband will commit to love then it makes it much easier for the wife to submit. If the wife will submit, the husband will have less trouble loving her. The beautiful thing about this is that God does not say, â€œa man should love his wife if she will submit.â€ Or, â€œa woman should submit to her husband if he loves her.â€ Each spouseâ€™s responsibility is independent of what the other one does. When a couple looks at marriage as a 50-50 agreement then they will always play off of how the other treats them. However, when they see the marriage as their sole responsibility, then they will have a much stronger and happier marriage.
Keep Personal Problems Personal
Donâ€™t share your marriage problems with your co-workers. If you are seeing a marriage counselor then it is important to be open and honest. But when chatting with your friends at the water cooler or the hair salon, you need to guard your negative words about your spouse. Long after the problem is resolved your friends will remember. They weren’t part of the healing process and therefore they wonâ€™t know how to forget.
Live Within Your Means
One of the major causes of divorce is money problems. Live with the money you have. Even though you think that expensive gift (that you canâ€™t afford) will help endear your spouse to you, it more often than not will drive a wedge of insecurity in your relationship.
Divorce is Not an Option
Never enter a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced if things donâ€™t work out. Regardless of your interpretation of the biblical passages dealing with divorce, you should make it a personal commitment to your spouse and to God that you will not consider divorce as an option. Enter the marriage with the understanding that you are making a solemn vow before God to your spouse that you will stay together until death separates you.
Guard Your Heart
Protect your eyes, ears and mind. Men, you need to learn to look away when your eyes are drawn to other women in an inappropriate way. Ladies, you may hear sweeter words from your co-worker than you do from your own husband. Remember to whom you made a promise to loveâ€”even when times are difficult.
Forget the Past
Isn’t it amazing how, all of a sudden, you can remember things from the past that you thought were forgotten when an argument arises between you and your spouse? Forget the wrong that he or she has done to you in the past and focus on the present and future.
Compliment in Word and Action
The word â€œcomplimentâ€ can mean a couple of different things. First it can mean to say nice things to one another. It can also mean to do something that helps the other to be stronger or look better in the eyes of others. Both senses of the word compliment are important in a marriage.
Love One Another
Make a decision to love one another as much as you can. Remember that he/she is your partner whom God gifted for your entire life on earth. God picked him/her just for you from among all the other faces, to become a part of you in mind and body.
Put God First
Most people who want to protect their marriage will say that their spouse is more important than their job. Unfortunately, it seems that people who are in ministry (pastors, missionaries, etc.) will say that in a list of priorities their wife is sometimes at the top of the list and sometimes their ministry is. If you put God at the top of your priority list, He will show you where your emphasis should be at any given time. If God is truly first, then the other priorities will fall into place.