Do you wish to fail? It’s the first step to true success.
If someone who is in my care, disobeys me, how do I view it? As a rebellion against me? How do I react to it? With anger? Punishments? Do I see it as they challenge me, so I must tackle them rightly? How much of tensions we get into so unnecessarily, no matter with whom we are dealing with: children, students, people under our care? Is their disobedience a real rebellion against us? Necessarily not? At times it may be an invitation for me to come to my “senses”- according to them. They may be convinced, that I am wrong and doing harm to them. Most often my good intentions are not understood by them or misunderstood by them. So if I react to them with more negatives in my heart and words, I think that they feel “they have succeeded.” They have won in seeing our vulnerability. This will do no good to either party.
Often we are afraid “to be a failure” in front of people. Now it depends what we term as failure / success? If someone abuses me and if I manage to pay pack in the same coin then I have won. But look at Jesus. His success is in bearing up all insults not with hatred or revengeful feelings but with sincere love and forgiveness – forgiveness unasked for or may be even undeserving. Tit for tat is not in the vocabulary of Jesus. The meek Jesus refutes unjust insults at times. Jesus remained calm and quiet when he was being ill – treated by words and action. That is what he called “pouring fire on the head of the opponents.”
In this case neither do I suffer nor do I make others to suffer. This certainly will be a “food for thought” to our opponents, who in God’s own time will reflect, repent and mend their ways. Did not the centurion who watched silently Jesus from the time of his arrest to his death on the cross exclaim, “He truly was the son of God? So when we are able to see and accept the truth we have succeeded. Whether my point was accepted as truth or not, is not the issue. If peace and harmony have not achieved in the event then, I have failed, even if I had the “last word.”
When those under pour care do not do what is required of them, it is either because they are not convinced of it or at times just for fun. May be they found “something better” “up to their taste” – though it may not be better in reality. They just followed their views, tastes, ideas, and friends. A lot of closing of eyes is necessary in our dealing with those under us. And yet we need to discern very well where we need to close our eyes and where we need to have wide open eyes.
Are those who disagree with our ideas, views, and plans our enemies? No, in fact they are our true “eye-openers”. Can a true friend always agree with us in everything? Surely. Only then they become our “guardian angels.” Can we allow others to disagree with us and yet be good friends? Certainly they become our “check-posts” or “speed –breakers.” So let us see all those who say “no” to us and our “dare to question us” as God sent lovers and helpers of us, so that we reach our true home without getting strayed on the way. There is no failure or success, everything lead to the “throne of God” if only we want.
Prayer: Jesus, you showed us how to let everything that happen to us and everyone who comes in our lives as instruments of our salvation. Teach us to see the bright side of everything and look always at the Cross which is a folly to the gentiles and a sign of salvation and glory to those who believe in your name. Amen.
– – – written by Sr. Mary Orapankal MSMSHC