A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midstÂ ofÂ all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks andÂ somewhere theÂ voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a childÂ quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, youÂ shudder
once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at theÂ worldÂ through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something toÂ change…or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping overÂ theÂ next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince CharmingÂ orÂ Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy taleÂ endingsÂ (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happilyÂ everÂ after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity isÂ bornÂ of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyoneÂ willÂ always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … andÂ that’s OK.Â They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…andÂ in theÂ process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they didÂ to youÂ (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you canÂ reallyÂ count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean whatÂ they sayÂ and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s notÂ alwaysÂ about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…andÂ in theÂ process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept peopleÂ as theyÂ are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties..and in theÂ process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the worldÂ aroundÂ you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have beenÂ ingrained into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about howÂ youÂ should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, whatÂ youÂ should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money youÂ shouldÂ make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who youÂ shouldÂ marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you oweÂ yourÂ parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what youÂ reallyÂ stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin toÂ discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never haveÂ bought into to begin with … and in the process you learn to go withÂ yourÂ instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and youÂ stopÂ maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your nextÂ fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not theÂ outdatedÂ ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together theÂ foundationÂ upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to saveÂ theÂ world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and theÂ importanceÂ of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carryÂ andÂ that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when toÂ walkÂ away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as youÂ wouldÂ have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,Â smoothingÂ things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK….and that itÂ isÂ your right to want things and to ask for the things you want … andÂ thatÂ sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love,Â kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less.
And you learn that your body really is your temple.Â And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more timeÂ toÂ exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and soÂ youÂ take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believeÂ youÂ deserve…and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and thatÂ wishing for something to happen is different than working towardÂ making it
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you needÂ direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone…and that it’s OK toÂ riskÂ asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robberÂ baron ofÂ all: FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you knowÂ thatÂ whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give
awayÂ the right to live life on your own terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it livingÂ under aÂ cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what youÂ thinkÂ you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people.Â On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer yourÂ prayers.
It’s just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state – the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentmentÂ must beÂ understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of youÂ andÂ poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead ofÂ walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simpleÂ things weÂ take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can
onlyÂ dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warmÂ bed, aÂ long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself andÂ youÂ make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever
settleÂ for less than your heart’s desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to theÂ wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stayÂ openÂ to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take aÂ stand,Â you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want toÂ live asÂ best you can.