Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord - Psalm 27:14

The pelican duo paddled in place, bobbing in the canal. They were waiting in anticipation, expecting that scraps would be soon be swept from the fish cleaning board into the water. It was just a matter of time.

There’s a waiting room in our local hospital where people can stay if a family member is having surgery. Minutes can masquerade as hours, and hours like days, while waiting for results of the operation.

I have found that waiting is not easy and can be frustrating, even confusing. And it seems to go on, and on, sometimes. Occasionally our hands are tied,; we have to wait because of circumstances. Times when a course to pursue is not plain, waiting is necessary for clarity. While trying to sort it all out and allow it to unfold, we sit in that waiting zone.

The waiting place, not usually where we choose to be. It’s not forever, though, and it is for a season, a reason, a purpose. It’s possible to wait with positive expectation, anticipating things working out for the best. God knows, and He has all things in His hands, especially His children. That is, good news.

I wait for you, oh Lord; you will answer, oh Lord my God – Psalm 38:15

- – - written by Sally I. Kennedy

Persevere in faith and prayer; God has His own ways to intervene and change.

Our God is a God of everlasting love and omnipresent in all situations, every moment of our life. Through the thick and thin of our life He is always with us waiting for us to call on Him and rely on Him.

Often during the rosy days of our life, when we feel secure we tend to forget the Lord’s presence in our lives. Our Sunday Masses, Novenas, personal and family prayers may go on but Christ ceases to be the centre or focus any more. Everything may seem to be perfect externally but internally there is a void, a deep spiritual void building up.

We may or may not be aware of this void but “Christ” is certainly aware of it. At this juncture it may deem fit to Him, ‘Our Universal Master ‘ to intervene in our lives through an event or some kind of suffering so that we might get back to him and fix our gaze on Him.

We are too precious for Him to be lost in the whims and fancies of the world. He paid a price for us, yes, every drop of His blood. So we belong to Him. The suffering that comes on our way may seem to be very painful and bitter, yet it keeps us glued to Him. As He is the only one who can heal us and redeem us. Jesus is the answer to every problem, question or crisis. It is only through Him that we will be able to sail through this suffering victoriously.

I would like to share my personal experience which has renewed and changed the outlook of my life.

Prior to my wedding, I was a very prayerful girl. However after my wedding in Jan 1998, my focus had shifted. My Husband was every thing to me, even before I realized this fact I had already given Jesus a back seat in my life. I seldom felt His presence with me, though He was always with me.

Things began to take a turn with my pregnancy, delivery and motherhood. My husband’s transfer and other pregnancy related health problems created a lot of stress in my life. On 26 August 2000 I delivered a baby boy (three weeks premature). We named him JOY, which expands to be Jesus Owns You. From the time of his birth he gave me sleepless nights.

When he was three months old he developed small eruptions on his face, which we thought were mosquito bites. As the problem persisted we consulted a doctor and it was diagnosed as Infantile Eczema or Atopic Dermatitis (dry skin problem). In his case it was extreme and severe as explained by a well known doctor.

The sleepless nights were coupled with terrible itching, inflammation of the skin, infections, inconsolable wailing and untold suffering. We went from Pillar to Post trying Allopathy, Homeopathy, Ayurveda. Bought expensive creams from abroad and used steroids but all these provided no solution, it only gave temporary relief.

Years passed by with sleepless nights and the heavy burden of stress and helplessness. Jesus seemed to be far away and I began to question His love and mercy for me. We attended retreats and everyone assured that he would be healed but nobody knew when.

By the time he was 7 years old the problem had become so severe that he had to stop school. Day and night he was itching and screaming, most of his finger nails were infected and fell off due to itching and inflammation. None of the Medicines worked on him or gave any relief. Even a dose of two or more tranquilizers would not put him to sleep.

Doctors were of the opinion that the problem would persist for few more years, that is when we turned completely to JESUS our Divine Healer. We knew that when everything else fails prayer prevails. We took it as a challenge; we fasted and continuously prayed Rosary and Divine Mercy Rosary. Many people and different prayer groups prayed for him, as a result there was a respite in his finger nails and it healed but the itching persisted.

Consequently we happen to attend a retreat at Sehion (Attapady). On the first day of the Retreat, I threw all the tranquilizers into the bin surrendering him completely to the Lord. After a span of six months that was the first day that he slept continuously for 8 hours. This was the first miracle!

A Priest had anointed his whole body with holy oil but on the last day he developed very high temperature and his legs were swollen very badly, oozing out pus (God had his own unique ways). His situation seems to be worse than before, people who witnessed it were horrified with the suffering, they prayed with tears in their eyes. They urged us not to loose hope. As he was unable to walk, I had to carry him on my back.

We reached home (Hyderabad) with a heavy heart after tedious Train journey. We were firm in our faith and continued with our prayers. After the retreat the second miracle that followed was that he began to sleep during the nights but would strangely wake up every night at 3 am. That was the time of my Divine Mercy Rosary after which he would get back to sleep.

The following Thursday was Maundy Thursday. During the Holy Mass he was itching continuously, I was irritated, sad and also angry that I couldn’t peacefully participate in the Mass. After receiving Holy Communion, I angrily walked out of the Church thinking that I will never again attend Mass until HE heals my son. As the following day was Good Friday, we ritualistically went to Church. Although I forgot my own angry words, He did seem to remember it and consequently I was not able to attend Mass due to heavy down pour, a crowded Church and his continuous itching. ‘I missed the Holy Mass on Good Friday!’ I realized the folly of my words and begged for pardon from the Lord.

I even pleaded Him to give me a chance to attend the Easter Vigil. I was particular in attending the Easter Vigil because of my conviction of the power of the Risen Lord. As I had read in one of the books that when St. Augustine celebrated Easter Mass, visible miracles took place in front of the altar. The blind received sight, crippled walked and the dumb spoke, Hence I was also expecting a miracle.

The next day in spite of the rains, we were able to attend Easter Mass. Although during the Mass he was agitated and restless, I continued with my fervent prayers. It so happened that after the offertory the priest came down the altar with the chalice and paten in his hands, stretching out his hands towards the people he asked us to accept the peace of Christ. As peace has evaded me for past 7 years, I prayed with all my heart and said “Jesus I accept your peace”.

After a while my son came running to me from my husband and I noticed that his face was ‘glowing and radiant’. I realized a miracle had happened. His wrinkled face was refreshed and glowing. On reaching home everyone commented about the change on his face, which also included my non Christian neighbor. Who expressed “Hey! I had never seen JOY like this from the time I have known him”.

All of them testified the Miracle and thereafter we witnessed a change in his sleeping pattern. He peacefully slept everyday until we woke him, this never happened for last 7 Years. “Praise the Lord!”

Events did not stop with that, a few weeks later we once again witnessed the loving protection and mercy of Jesus through another miracle. While he was playing he happened to fall into 12 feet manhole (drainage pit) under repair, which had lots of big boulders and with water flowing beneath. He was rushed to the Hospital with profuse bleeding from his forehead. The incident which could have been fatal was reduced to a minute rupture of blood vessel on the forehead. Forget fractures he never even had a scar on his body. This event was witnessed by many and was testified as “Gods Incredible Protection “.

Psalm 91, which I recite every morning says in verses 11,12 ‘ For He will command His angles concerning you to guard you in all your ways , on there hands they will bear you up so that you will not dash your foot against a stone’. Indeed it was true in our lives that day. I realized that every prayer we say, every word of God and every tear we shed would never go in vain.

The events did not stop there, three weeks later we again found boils on his body; he was afflicted with chicken pox. Within 5 days it had become so severe that his whole body was covered with thousands of boils, without even a minute part of his skin being visible over his body including head. He looked frightening and scary; people who visited us scooted away in fear and horror on seeing him.

The pain and agony he experienced was so severe that he would scream and yell “I want to die; I cannot bear it any more”. During this period God had given us tremendous strength. With continuous prayers day and night and strong medication after about a month his boils began to dry up and heal. On giving him bathe, we realized that his skin which was dry and flaky had become smooth and soft. This was a cleansing process. Indeed God has his own unique way in reaching out to people and healing them of their infirmities and sickness.

The words in Psalms 103: 3, 4 which says, “who forgives all your iniquity; who heals all you diseases; who redeems your life from the pit; who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy” , had literally come true in our lives. We continue to receive God’s love, mercy and protection in our lives thus giving us the strength to endure various trials and tribulations that come on our way.

I pray that God may grant all of us the grace to live our lives according to His will until we see Him face to face in His kingdom. To our Lord and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

- – - written by Preethi P. Sebastian, Hyderabad

Blur beliefs and wavering faith are mostly due to lack of prayer.

The strange phenomenon among frustrated Christians is basically that God doesn’t care at times of crisis. He neither offers solutions nor a way out of it. An apt opinion would be, ‘God is angry with me or because of my sins, I undergo or face these problems in life.’

Many have shared about their crisis in life, and one among them is ‘Faith Crisis’. Their dwindling faith and declining beliefs in God and in oneself makes the bridge of faith slowly breaking into a blur standpoint in one’s spiritual ladder. What is stagnant? Why does it happen? All these queries can be answered through tremendous soul-searching and asking questions like, do we only care about worldly things? For it offers more glamorous things, a feast to our eyes, an entry into the world of gadgets and technologies.

But Scripture is totally different, it doesn’t give sensational issues or glamorous caricatures enticing to induce passion or pleasure, but it offers what you need, a window to a new way of life, which you long for, a message to your life, an atmosphere conducive to live in, a book packed with all sorts of instructions, solutions and guidelines. Remember! “Faith and pleasure never go together.”

Gone are the days of rituals, traditions and offerings. But today, it makes no sense to the people of the postmodern trend. Saints are not seen, disciples have no address, and martyrs blood spreads only a momentary inspiration. Beliefs are ceasing, trends are in swift change, and churches are half empty, postmodern world urges to step out of the frames to light your own spirituality.

Amidst all these chaos, can you go deep down into yourself to ask, is my prayer life consistent? Is there a daily record of my appointments with God? Am I constantly in touch with scriptures? Many are at vigorous search for peace and happiness without any initiatives in forming oneself. The problem is not somewhere else; it is in us, unwilling to go deep down into oneself to find out the problems.

The point is this; blur beliefs and wavering faith are mostly due to lack of prayer, infrequent reading of Holy Scripture, rare visit to Blessed Sacraments etc resulting in dryness, a certain amount of depression, weariness finally leading to spiritual crisis. A person can’t be a Christian without faith. And formation of faith is an internal activity in align with the cooperation of the Holy Spirit. Formation and reformation of faith involves meticulous testing and scrutiny during its perfection.

While one is led to temptations, dark nights, idleness, drowsiness etc. these are a normal hurdles. When it comes to faith, dark nights are a necessary evil for the aspiring soldier of God. Have you indomitable spirit to discover faith? Well! It is amidst patience, perseverance in problems and impediments. And those who give up are consciously in “spiritual slumber” opting to be in the clutches of darkness.

We have icons from bible like JOB and ELIJAH who displayed faith in their lives in accordance with the Lord. When Job’s possessions including his sons and daughters were taken he said, “I came from my mother’s womb and naked I shall return there; the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21). In all these Job did not sin nor shun God and commit wrong doings but pursued his faith in the Lord. Even when his wife rose up against him to despise God and die, he said, “you speak as any foolish women would speak, shall we receive the good at the hand of God and not receive the bad? In all these Job did not sin with his lips” (Job 1:9-10). He withstood all this believing in the providence of God, which God returned to him in hundred folds.

We also read about Prophet Elijah, (1Kg 18:20-40) a faith filled man who challenged the prophets of Baal. Take a moment to reflect, suppose, God had not sent the fire prophet Elijah would have been brutally murdered unto death. But Elijah was not scared he was sure about the helping hand of God, because, he had no doubts, no wavering faith and no double thoughts but, a complete trust and faith in God that his God won’t deceive him.

Faith is a personal issue which grows gradually in making you a full-fledged Christian. Faith is the only strength that can compensate to realize the power of God, to know Him and to experience Him. It is a gift from God, not all possess but can gradually attain. It is a strength to the weak, hope to the hopeless, boost up to the broken hearted and an enemy to the fear.

Fear and ignorance takes you where you do not want to go, but faith takes you where you want to go. It is a thriving force for the world of knowledge and spirituality. It expands your mental horizons for radical changes and makes you a dynamic person. Faith is a simple gift from God loaded with profound visions and missions.

St. Augustine says, “Faith is to believe what we do not see and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe.” Hence, one should first believe in oneself to tackle the entire crisis in one’s own life. To hold belief in oneself, one should discard evil elements like guilt feelings, low self-esteem, pessimistic attitude, doubts etc to pave way for stronger self-conviction in oneself and in Christ. “Faith is another form of treasure, one who has found, has found God.”

God never lets us go down unless we do to ourselves. So, let’s submit all our bundle of burdens and problems, for God can bring a radical change in our lives. God can do much with our lives than us. Hence let us accept that our faith is weak and believe that nothing is impossible to God and continue to pray unceasingly at all circumstances, for He will surely build our faith and answer to all the problems and questions for He can not deceive Himself.

- – - written by Frt. H. Infant Vinoth SVD