A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house.  It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.  Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.

Revelation 3:20 reads: “Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”

Genesis 3:10 reads: “And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.”

Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret sins one to another. I’ll start – my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”

The second pastor said, “My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors.”

The third pastor said, “My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can’t wait to get out of this room!”

For the umpteenth time Mrs. Youngston came to her pastor to tell him, “I’m so scared!  Joe says he’s going to kill me if I continue to come to your church.”

“Yes, yes, my child,” replied the pastor, more than a little tired of hearing this over and over.  “I will continue to pray for you, Mrs. Youngston. Have faith – the Lord will watch over you.”

“Oh yes, he has kept me safe thus far, only…..”

“Only what, my child?”

“Well, now he says if I keep coming to your church, he’s going to kill YOU!”

“Well, now,” said the pastor, “Perhaps it’s time to check out that little church on the other side of town.”