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July 16th, 2016

Sexuality And Chastity

Watch the 15min video shown above. The video is on sexuality and chastity in a Catholic’s life.

Most people think that the Catholic Church hates human sexuality and bans the practice of it except for the necessity of having kids. Well, in fact most of us are just simply misinformed. We need to understand what Church actually means when it says we should practice chastity. It’s not just about saying NO, it’s about living life to the fullest.

Three Ways To Look At Sexuality

  1. The hedonistic way – Sex meant only for enjoyment and happiness. If it feels good, do it.
  2. The secular way – Never harm anyone. But anything goes if the two agree to participate.
  3. The Catholic way – Sex is a holy and good thing created by God for union of man and woman and the procreation of children. It is sacramental in nature. Not to be confused with the type of sex practiced by animals which is basically biological in nature.

We are placed on this earth to know, love and serve God and be happy with Him in the next. Happiness, personal fulfillment etc are not the main goals of humanity. Instead serving God and loving one another are! Sexuality fits into this plan by uniting man and woman producing the foundation of society, mainly the Family. From all of this, comes true happiness on this earth.

Catholic church believes Sex is Good

When God created the Heavens and the Earth, He created them good. When God created the animals, He created them good. When God created man, He created him good. Male and Female He created them. Adam and Eve complimented one another. Together they made humanity perfect. So when they had sex, God saw that it was good and from the love between them came a closer relationship to God and a closer relationship to one another and the family. It was absolutely beautiful!

What is Concupiscence?

That is the tendency we have in our bodies and souls to twist God’s gift including sexuality into dark and sinful ways. The church’s teaching on Sexuality is not complicated, in fact it is very easy to remember.

The 4 Basic Truths

  1. God created man in His image and likeness. Nothing else in creation is like us or blessed like us. God dwells in us.
  2. God created man as a physical being. Yes, man has a soul but the body is equally as important. Our bodies are good.
  3. God blessed us with the physical reality as Male and Female, saying be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.
  4. Man is created in original solitude. He is alone. And in that solitude he realizes his relationship to God and the fact that he is different from everything else in the world. But God does not think it’s good for the man to be alone, so He creates a partner. Adam is no longer man, instead man is now seen as male and female, from solitude to communion. Now the union of the male and the female becomes a shadow with the trinity, a communion of persons.

What is Chastity?

This is a virtue which helps us against Concupiscence. It is the virtue whereby we regulate our use of sexual activity in accord with our state of life. It does not mean no use of our sexuality, rather it means the appropriate use of our sexual powers given the state of our life. Chastity is a robust, freeing, courageous type of virtue that helps a person be at peace with the urgent longing that human beings feel. Chastity helps us all realize that we are more than just sexual objects.

Catholic Church’s Stand

Like all other things in our life, sexuality must be integrated into who and what we are and the type of lives that we lead. Knowing the truths described above, makes understanding our Church’s teaching on sexual issues much easier. Of course families form the bedrock of our society. They come from that self-giving love that a male and female in marriage share. Of course divorce is not going to be seen as permissible because it breaks up that community of love that is a family.

And of course, we are not going to accept same-sex marriage because marriage by its definition needs a male and a female. Whatever union same-sex partners have, it is not a marriage. We cannot make words mean something they do not. Of course, abortion is going to be wrong. We are made in the image and likeness of God and destroying innocent human life is a terrible thing. And of course embryonic stem cell research which relies on killing an embryo is wrong because it destroys a human being. Same thing with vitro fertilization which destroys life and separates the begetting of children from the love between husband and wife. And even contraception, which a vast majority of Catholics think is OK. That’s not going to be okay if you believe as the Church does, that marriage is both unitive (love side) and procreative (kids side).

Since our bodies don’t have consciences, only our souls do, the very pleasure associated with sex clouds our minds on issues of right and wrong. And that’s why we have to give weight to church’s teaching. Our Catholic morality is based on human experience reflected on in the light of the scriptures for nearly two thousand years. Please follow it.

November 16th, 2014

10 Rules To Make Your Marriage Stronger

Rules To Make Your Marriage Stronger

Here are 10 rules to make your christian marriage stronger and smoother.

End the Day With a Clean Slate

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Make it a goal to clear the air with your spouse on a daily basis. Fortunately, most days there will not be a need to clean the slate. For those days where tensions are high make an agreement with one another that you will work out your differences before going to bed.

Not 50-50

The Bible says that it is a man’s responsibility to love (Ephesians 5:25) and it is a woman’s responsibility to submit (Ephesians 5:22). If the husband will commit to love then it makes it much easier for the wife to submit. If the wife will submit, the husband will have less trouble loving her. The beautiful thing about this is that God does not say, “a man should love his wife if she will submit.” Or, “a woman should submit to her husband if he loves her.” Each spouse’s responsibility is independent of what the other one does. When a couple looks at marriage as a 50-50 agreement then they will always play off of how the other treats them. However, when they see the marriage as their sole responsibility, then they will have a much stronger and happier marriage.

Keep Personal Problems Personal

Don’t share your marriage problems with your co-workers. If you are seeing a marriage counselor then it is important to be open and honest. But when chatting with your friends at the water cooler or the hair salon, you need to guard your negative words about your spouse. Long after the problem is resolved your friends will remember. They weren’t part of the healing process and therefore they won’t know how to forget.

Live Within Your Means

One of the major causes of divorce is money problems. Live with the money you have. Even though you think that expensive gift (that you can’t afford) will help endear your spouse to you, it more often than not will drive a wedge of insecurity in your relationship.

Divorce is Not an Option

Never enter a marriage with the thought that you can get divorced if things don’t work out. Regardless of your interpretation of the biblical passages dealing with divorce, you should make it a personal commitment to your spouse and to God that you will not consider divorce as an option. Enter the marriage with the understanding that you are making a solemn vow before God to your spouse that you will stay together until death separates you.

Guard Your Heart

Protect your eyes, ears and mind. Men, you need to learn to look away when your eyes are drawn to other women in an inappropriate way. Ladies, you may hear sweeter words from your co-worker than you do from your own husband. Remember to whom you made a promise to love—even when times are difficult.

Forget the Past

Isn’t it amazing how, all of a sudden, you can remember things from the past that you thought were forgotten when an argument arises between you and your spouse? Forget the wrong that he or she has done to you in the past and focus on the present and future.

Compliment in Word and Action

The word “compliment” can mean a couple of different things. First it can mean to say nice things to one another. It can also mean to do something that helps the other to be stronger or look better in the eyes of others. Both senses of the word compliment are important in a marriage.

Love One Another

Make a decision to love one another as much as you can. Remember that he/she is your partner whom God gifted for your entire life on earth. God picked him/her just for you from among all the other faces, to become a part of you in mind and body.

Put God First

Most people who want to protect their marriage will say that their spouse is more important than their job. Unfortunately, it seems that people who are in ministry (pastors, missionaries, etc.) will say that in a list of priorities their wife is sometimes at the top of the list and sometimes their ministry is. If you put God at the top of your priority list, He will show you where your emphasis should be at any given time. If God is truly first, then the other priorities will fall into place.

November 25th, 2012

Poem : The Art Of Marriage

The Art Of Marriage

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things…

It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;
The courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

– – – written by Wilferd A. Peterson  (longer version)

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