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March 23rd, 2011

Ten Inches Of Water

Ten Inches Of Water

A boy was sitting in a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great! he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local University. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his Joy.

Hey, asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, Don’t you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle.

The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the realities of the miracles of the Bible. That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10 inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across.

The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible lying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight turned to leave.

Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation.

Wow! Exclaimed the boy happily, God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!


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October 27th, 2010

Favorite Hymns of Praise

Favorite Hymns of Praise

The Dentist’s hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns

The Weatherman’s hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor’s hymn: The Church’s One Foundation

The Tailor’s Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy

The Golfer’s Hymn: There Is a Green Hill Far Away

The Politician’s Hymn: Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist’s Hymn: Open My Eyes that I May See

The IRS Agent’s Hymn: I Surrender All

The Gossip’s Hymn: Pass It On

The Electrician’s Hymn: Send the Light

The Shopper’s Hymn: Sweet By and By

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For those who drive, if you must speed on the highway, please sing these…..

45mph: God Will Take Care of You

55mph: Guide Me, O thou Great One

65mph: Nearer My God to Thee

75mph: Nearer Still Nearer

85mph: This World Is Not My Home

95mph: Lord, I’m Coming Home

Over 100 mph: Precious Memories


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June 24th, 2010

Ten Rules Of Life

Ten Rules Of Life

Ten Essential Rules of Life

RULE 1: Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3: You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

RULE 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. She doesn’t have tenure.

RULE 5: Flipping burgers is NOT beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6: If you screw up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.

RULE 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off, and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 9: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 10: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.


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