Forgive me for the things I have done
and not done.
Forgive me for the things I have said
and not said.
Forgive me for the life I have lived
and not lived.
That I might reflect the image
of the one I profess to follow
in thought, and word and deed
and in discovering my true self
draw others into that light.

Tonight, Lord, I am alone.
Little by little the sounds
died down in the church.
The people went away,
And I came home,
Alone.

I passed people who were
returning from a walk.
I went by the cinema
that was disgorging its crowd.
I skirted café terraces where tired strollers
were trying to prolong t
he pleasure of a Sunday holiday.
I bumped into youngsters
playing on the footpath,
Youngsters, Lord,
Other people’s youngsters
who will never be my own.

Here I am, Lord,
Alone.
The silence troubles me,
The solitude oppresses me.

Lord, I’m 35 years old,
A body made like others,
ready for work,
A heart meant for love,
But I’ve given you all.
It’s true of course, that you needed it.
I’ve given you all, but it is hard, Lord.
It’s hard to give one’s body;
it would like to give itself to others.
It’s hard to love everyone and to claim no one.
It’s hard to shake a hand
and not want to keep it.
It’s hard to inspire affection,
only to give it to you.
It’s hard to be nothing to oneself
in order to be everything to others.
It’s hard to be like others, among others,
and be an other to them.
It’s hard always to give
without trying to receive.
It’s hard to seek out others
and to be oneself unsought.
It’s hard to be told secrets,
and never be able to share them.
It’s hard to carry others
and never, even for a moment, be carried.
It’s hard to sustain the feeble
and never be able to lean on one
who is strong.

It’s hard to be alone,
Alone before everyone,
Alone before the world,
Alone before suffering,
death,
sin.

Son, you are not alone,
I am with you.
I am you.
For I needed another human vehicle
to continue my Incarnation
and my Redemption.
Out of all eternity, I chose you.
I need you.

I need your hands to continue to bless,
I need your lips to continue to speak,
I need your body to continue to suffer,
I need your heart to continue to love,
I need you to continue to save,
Stay with me.

Here I am Lord,
Here is my body,
my heart,
my soul,
Grant that I may be
big enough to reach the world,
Strong enough to carry it.
Pure enough to embrace it
without wanting to keep it.

Grant that I may be a meeting-place,
but a temporary one,
A road that does not end in itself,
because everything to be gathered there,
everything human, must be led to you.

Lord, tonight, while all is still
and I feel sharply the sting of solitude,
While people devour my soul
and I feel incapable of satisfying their hunger,
While the world presses on my shoulders
with all its weight
of misery and sin,
I repeat to you my “yes”
—not in a burst of laughter, but slowly,
clearly, humbly.

Alone, Lord,
before you,
In the peace of the evening.

- – - written by Fr. Michel Quoist, 1954, France

Pray for me I was once like you.
Be kind and loving to me that’s how I would have treated you.

Remember I was once someone’s parent or spouse.
I had a life and a dream for the future.

Speak to me, I can hear you even if I don’t understand what you are saying.
Speak to me of things in my past of which I can still relate.

Be considerate of me, my days are such a struggle.
Think of my feelings because I still have them and can feel pain.
Treat me with respect because I would have treated you that way.

Think of how I was before I got Alzheimer’s; I was full of life,
I had a life, laughed and loved you.
Think of how I am now, My disease distorts my thinking,
my feelings, and my ability to respond,
but I still love you even if I can’t tell you.

Think about my future because I used too.
Remember I was full of hope for the future just like you are now.
Think how it would be to have things locked in your mind and can’t let them out.
I need you to understand and not blame me, but Alzheimer’s.

I still need the compassion and the touching and most of all
I still need you to love me.
Keep me in your prayers because I am between life and death.

The love you give will be a blessing from God and both of us will live forever.
How you live and what you do today will always be remembered
in the heart of the Alzheimer’s Patient.

- – - written by Carolyn Haynali